Dear Julien Ayiku Ocansey,

I don’t how many times i’ve said this this month, but I have to say it again…Thank You. I didn’t think that you’d understand it, when I told you, I check my closet and the loft at night because I’m afraid my dad’s inside.. I didn’t think you’d understand when I told you that i check the lock every night because i’m afraid my dad will walk in and murder me. I didn’t think you’d understand when I told you that i’m still getting nightmares about my past. I didn’t think you’d understand when I told you everything, that i’ve kept hidden for so long from everyone else… But today when I fell apart, because of that fight I had with my brother, you held me and let me cry for that hour and a half. And when you said Shayne tell me what’s wrong, and I said i don’t wanna I don’t wanna cry anymore, you said Shayne you need to let it out now its okay to cry. And when i barley got my voice back and I said Jay i am still living through the blocked out memories of what my dad put me through, and I am so sorry that you have to deal with this because it’s not fair you said, Shayne I don’t do it because it’s fair or not fair I do it because I love you, and because I love you I will bear any pain you bear. And after you had risked getting in trouble so you could make sure I was stable and okay, you asked me who was going to camp this weekend. And i said well my whole youth group. You said, anybody I know? And i said Tim Tommy Kyle Saria Noah and a few others. Why? And you said because I wanted to make sure that theres someone to listen to you and hold you if you start crying agaiin. And while during all of this, we were watching Dear John, you knew that I was partly crying because it triggers the thoughts of you going away. And thats when you whispered in my ear, “i love you Shayne and i’m always going to be here for you no matter how far I go, i’m always a phone call away and I am always in your heart”.

Jay, you have all the pieces of my broken heart and only you and God can fix it. Thank you, for taking on this difficult task…. I love you with all my heart, you mean the world to me.
Love,
Shayne <3